Friday 15th April 2016
Last Friday we took a trip into Brisbane where we had an unexpected encounter with Angels which your can read about here. We were on our way to Global Digital Radio Station where I was being interview by Tim Easton for his program Men’s Stories.
Tim asked me to tell him about a significant relationship in my life and what I’d learnt from it. I chose Jakkie and this is what I said.
“We’ve know each other over 25 years, we’ve been together for nearly nine years now, and now that my daughter’s off to university, we are two adults without a child in our life. So we are now fully in adult relationship together, so it’s by far the most significant relationship to me.
“It’s a relationship which, more than any other, supports me, nurtures me and makes me want to be a better man. Being a father has always made me want to be a better man and being in daily relationship with my partner makes me want to be a better man—and right now it really is daily relationship because we are together, travelling around Australia, in an RV, in a very confined space.
“And if it wasn’t the woman I love, some of those interactions, I just wouldn’t put up with them, and I know she would say exactly the same thing, this is not a one-way complaint!”
“One of the things I learnt from my parents was this—they came from an age when divorce and separation was very rare and it was almost like they had no choice but to be together. I’ve seen how much they’ve grown, by virtue of being in constant relationship with another human being. Being in constant relationship with another human being, really enforces growth over time.
“So what I’m interested in, is this— because we don’t have to be together, my partner and I can have a row tomorrow about who got the directions wrong trying to get to the studio today, right, we can both blame each, have a big row and then go our separate ways. There’s nothing to hold us together, at all, other than the fact that we are committed to being together.
“And so bringing that conscious commitment to be with another human being, through all the challenges, is one of the most, for me, interesting areas of growth that any man or any woman can have. That relationship between man and woman, when we bring a conscious commitment to it, is just a real opportunity for growth and yes it hurts some times and yes it challenges sometimes and yes it makes you want to scream and shout some times and oh my, does it actually give you strength and growth ……….. when you work through the stuff you have to work through to make a relationship really work for both people.”
(And the same is true, of course, for any long-term relationship, heterosexual or not).
Tim then asked me to introduce one of five songs he’d asked me to choose and this is what I said:
“When I was growing up I used to think this track was quite cheesey. When I met my partner, Jakkie, again, nine years ago it was one of the most magical experiences and somehow this track became the theme track of the initial romance stage of our relationship and it went round and round and round in our heads. It’s good old Barry Manilow and the song Could It Be Magic?”
Nine years on and we’re still Sharing The Magic together, so I guess the answer to the question “Could It be Magic?” is “YES”!